It Starts Now...

I've been discovering a simple truth for myself. If you want to "be" something then you simply need to do it. If are doing it you every day you will be it.

I'm a professional musician and all I've always wanted to be is an artist - someone who creates - and I guess I am (my band The Stuns has an album out - www.thestuns.com) but I've always had excuses for not making writing my priority. Money usually. "When I have $XXX I will be able to be an artist". Baa booow.... fail. If I want to be an artist I simply have to write, to create, to express, and as long as I do this then I've succeeded. You know, the old "journey not destination" adage.

I thought of doing this blog from New Year's Day this year but didn't think anyone would read it, or worse, may actually read it and I'd be there on display. My juvenile skills as a writer. My personal thoughts and feelings. And I didn't want to fail at it. So I didn't do it. (I now realise this thought process is "How To Be A Failure 101")

I met a new friend the other night (aftertheartistsway.blogspot.com) and was inspired with the idea again and found myself saying "I'll do it from next New Year's", then realised that I was still making excuses. The time to take action - to start living - is today. This podcast by a friend of mine has also been an inspiration - www.songsfromthehowlingsea.com - and I recommend it to all those who love interesting history and great music.

So here we are. I'm now accountable to this blog and anyone who reads it. Every day I will put on this blog an entry of something creative I've done in the past 24 hours, no matter what I think of it. Maybe a song idea, maybe just poetry/lyrics, maybe a short story or a drawing, who knows. Just something to show that I've been an artist today - that I am an artist, with no consideration to what's "good" or even "finished", just what expresses "me". It will be an account of a creative process - my process - whatever that may be. Life is in the doing not in the talking about doing.

So on that note...

...my very first actual post... (yeah, I'm a bit nervous)

I think the weirdest thing for many who read this blog will be seeing a side of me they didn't know, and maybe even didn't want to know. I've never read anyone my poetry. I've always been very private about it and am pretty scared to do it now. But well...f#@k it. I'm more interested in being honest and creative than trying to protect some idea of what people may think is me.

With much reticence I did a video of me reading this poem. I just wanted there to be a record of how I hear the poem read. I made a few mistakes but wasn't going to do it twice.

The Sea’s Relentless Sound

The sun went down for the winter

The sounds of birds did slowly fade away

Darkness dripped through every pore

As I held her body washed up on the shore

So damp and so cold

I laid her down and made from her a mould

To hold til I was old

I dressed her up in familiar gowns and

Pretty frocks that never fade away

And as the snow blew in

I wrapped her plastic body in

My alabaster skin

And bones were left

Lost in ice and wind

Years with no Summer

Or Spring

Not even Autumn colour

Passed without a breath

Or sign of life to coldly trade away

One day I walked back to the surf-whipped rocks

And looked for the horizon that should never fade away

But it was lost to all around

Except the winged that never touch the ground

The sea's relentless sound

Now

The only thing I knew was real

I longed for such a feeling

Of peace that would never fade away

So I held my precious moulded girl close and

Jumped in, as she had before me, in the sea so alive but so frozen

I choked upon the sea's black ink

And soon we sank but as we did

I felt a light inside me flicker

And I knew today was not the day 

I would let myself fade away

Grip loosened slowly

I let my moulded girl go

And on she sank away with so

Much speed, yet somehow slow 

Then I began to notice

The sun's rays cutting through the murky haze of sea and thought

I was rising like a bright white float

Free of my anchor’s weight

I felt the wild seas whip my face

And old air in my lungs replaced

This moment lived can never fade away