Monday, July 23, 2012

One Day Without It

One Day Without It

One day without it
Not quite cold turkey
It's still around
The way it used to be
But not here in my hand

And at first that makes me stress
That absence
That aloneness
To not have it close
To caress 
My safety blanket
My instant fix
My brain engaging happiness

It's my latest addiction
The worst I think
There was no resistance
It's everywhere now
In fact, it's required for existence

But not today
Some time away
And I must say
Something began to change
As the day moved along
And my brain could not be drawn
Down the hole that I've recently worn
Away at until it fit me more and more
Or I fit it, I'm not quite sure

It is good, there's no denying it
Life before it seems harder
And I'm sure I'm getting smarter
Yet despite it being a priceless time saving treasure
It has kept me away from really matters

To me anyway
Because I used to think all day
With my creative mind awake
And now I see how that has faded

For as the hours went by
And this little addiction of mine
Was still confined 
Back by my bed at home
Quietly alone
Untouched and frustrated I know
My inspiration grew
Free to explore itself anew
Like rediscovering its youth

And so these words you read
Came to me 
And with no distractions from a screen
They survived
To be solidified, outside my mind
On my handy friend I now quietly despise
But I caress again
And feel relief to know it's close, but then...

Considering it all now in hindsight
This experience might help me find
The will to curb this addiction that had sent me blind
To the chaining of my mind

Just naming something "smart"
Doesn't mean it should monopolise your time
For the genesis of art
Is a mind engaged solely by 
Whatever wonders inside itself it's free to find