A Year Of Love and Surprises

It was a year ago that I landed in LA.

I don't think I need to tell the story again but certainly I'd had to make some very sudden and unexpected adjustments to my life's plans and was feeling rather defeated. Particularly as these unexpected changes had put me out of a lot of money and separated me from my UK bands.

Coming to LA was a big financial risk at a time when I was no longer in much of a position to take financial risks. Due to the love and support of my family, particularly my parents, I was able to make this sudden adjustment, while facing the sure knowledge that I would be returning to Perth at the end of the year to pay back the debt I'd created, then maybe return to LA if I could afford it and felt it was right.

This decision changed my life. Most notably because 4 days after arriving I met my now-Fiancé; the delightful, individual and delectable Samantha Brenner. I assure you that any doubt I had over whether LA was the place for me disappeared the instant I laid eyes on her. And since then she has surprised me daily with something about her incomparable-self that makes me so happy whenever she's by my side, or even if she's not. 

I will get to the relevance of this soon, my gushing aside.

This has been one year of fresh fun, unexpected surprises and endless love. The best year of my life to date, no question. The thing that's most enabled me to grow though is knowing that I still get down and frustrated with things despite all the happiness in my life, and am subsequently learning how to deal with these moments in a more balanced and productive way as I don't have so many extraneous factors to point the finger at.

Again, Sam is a big help with that, and today I'd like to share something she said to me.

I was talking to her about my frustration over getting my EP recordings finished and about other annoying things that are getting me down or angry.

This may not be the exact quote but this is basically it;

"Is expending all this time and energy on these problems and thoughts making you feel happier?"

Although talking things through is crucial, as demonstrated by the fact that talking is what produced this comment, sometimes you can be left dwelling on something that's getting you down. Ultimately, it's positive action that results in you ending your day feeling happy. I believe this is a fundamental part of living a happy life, as a happy life can be simply defined as approximately 30,000 days of being focused on happiness (if you get past 80) and not negativity.

So is what you're doing now going to make you happy at the end of the day? Well...of course the answer is yes as how could reading my blog do anything but make you happy...

But in a more general sense you need to cut out things that aren't adding to your happiness, even if it seems selfish at times to do so. Unselfishness usually results in happiness, but can result in the opposite if not done so with a balance of consideration to self.

Next time you finish the day feeling unhappy, frustrated or angry try pondering for a moment exactly why it is that you've not been happy and satisfied with your day. For me that may be "because I didn't get any writing done", or "because I'm struggling financially", or "because [X, Y, Z] situation is annoying me."

Adjust your plan for the next day to not include anything that can be avoided, whether that means spending less time obsessing over something that is annoying you, spending at least some time getting done that thing that is so easy to put off but so crucial to your happiness (like an exercise program for example), or not wasting time on something which is monopolizing your time and attention but in truth doesn't add to your fundamental happiness.

Some things you may not be able to change though. So make the decision to turn any energy you're putting into being down and frustrated about that thing you can't change and instead put it into something that does make you happy and you can change. You will find this other thing more easily to let go of when you're feeling happy.

Some things you can't change immediately but you can change over time if you're committed. So think about what little step you can take the next day so that you can see that you're one step closer to making the change that you know will result in you being happier, e.g. working on a skill or building knowledge, like playing an instrument or learning about something you want to start a new career direction in.

It's always amazing to me how adjusting how you spend as little as 30 minutes to an hour of your day can be enough to make you feel happy instead of down at the end of the day.

Lastly, consider your day again and look away from the things that are getting you down and towards the things that should've made you happy, were you not so entrenched in what was making you unhappy. This may be a funny conversation you had with a friend (aren't you lucky to have them!), the little task that you've been procrastinating that you finally got done, or the smile you saw on your little child's face when you got home.

For me it's easy - I just look at Sam and I know that any reason I'm finding to be down is easily corrected by the knowledge that I'm the luckiest guy alive!

So there is the final relevance of all my gushing. Thanks for reading all that. I hope it helps you make your days happier.

Thanks to all those who voted on my sunset pictures from last week. The most liked photo was of Yallingup Beach, Western Australia. This will soon be available at my new Etsy store, which I would put a link to here but it doesn't yet exist as you can't have a shop with nothing in it! I will keep you informed though.

Look out for my next post and vote on your favourite photo for this week.