Tuesday, October 5, 2010

It Starts Now...

I've been discovering a simple truth for myself. If you want to "be" something then you simply need to do it. If are doing it you every day you will be it.

I'm a professional musician and all I've always wanted to be is an artist - someone who creates - and I guess I am (my band The Stuns has an album out - www.thestuns.com) but I've always had excuses for not making writing my priority. Money usually. "When I have $XXX I will be able to be an artist". Baa booow.... fail. If I want to be an artist I simply have to write, to create, to express, and as long as I do this then I've succeeded. You know, the old "journey not destination" adage.

I thought of doing this blog from New Year's Day this year but didn't think anyone would read it, or worse, may actually read it and I'd be there on display. My juvenile skills as a writer. My personal thoughts and feelings. And I didn't want to fail at it. So I didn't do it. (I now realise this thought process is "How To Be A Failure 101")

I met a new friend the other night (aftertheartistsway.blogspot.com) and was inspired with the idea again and found myself saying "I'll do it from next New Year's", then realised that I was still making excuses. The time to take action - to start living - is today. This podcast by a friend of mine has also been an inspiration - www.songsfromthehowlingsea.com - and I recommend it to all those who love interesting history and great music.

So here we are. I'm now accountable to this blog and anyone who reads it. Every day I will put on this blog an entry of something creative I've done in the past 24 hours, no matter what I think of it. Maybe a song idea, maybe just poetry/lyrics, maybe a short story or a drawing, who knows. Just something to show that I've been an artist today - that I am an artist, with no consideration to what's "good" or even "finished", just what expresses "me". It will be an account of a creative process - my process - whatever that may be. Life is in the doing not in the talking about doing.

So on that note...

...my very first actual post... (yeah, I'm a bit nervous)

I think the weirdest thing for many who read this blog will be seeing a side of me they didn't know, and maybe even didn't want to know. I've never read anyone my poetry. I've always been very private about it and am pretty scared to do it now. But well...f#@k it. I'm more interested in being honest and creative than trying to protect some idea of what people may think is me.

With much reticence I did a video of me reading this poem. I just wanted there to be a record of how I hear the poem read. I made a few mistakes but wasn't going to do it twice.


The Sea’s Relentless Sound

The sun went down for the winter
The sounds of birds did slowly fade away

Darkness dripped through every pore
As I held her body washed up on the shore
So damp and so cold
I laid her down and made from her a mould
To hold til I was old

I dressed her up in familiar gowns and
Pretty frocks that never fade away

And as the snow blew in
I wrapped her plastic body in
My alabaster skin
And bones were left
Lost in ice and wind

Years with no Summer
Or Spring
Not even Autumn colour
Passed without a breath
Or sign of life to coldly trade away


One day I walked back to the surf-whipped rocks
And looked for the horizon that should never fade away

But it was lost to all around
Except the winged that never touch the ground
The sea's relentless sound

Now

The only thing I knew was real
I longed for such a feeling
Of peace that would never fade away

So I held my precious moulded girl close and
Jumped in, as she had before me, in the sea so alive but so frozen

I choked upon the sea's black ink
And soon we sank but as we did
I felt a light inside me flicker

And I knew today was not the day 
I would let myself fade away

Grip loosened slowly
I let my moulded girl go
And on she sank away with so
Much speed, yet somehow slow 

Then I began to notice
The sun's rays cutting through the murky haze of sea and thought
I was rising like a bright white float

Free of my anchor’s weight
I felt the wild seas whip my face
And old air in my lungs replaced

This moment lived can never fade away

5 comments:

  1. What an inspirational first post! Awesome work, Josh. I look forward to more.

    H :)

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  2. Wonderful words Josh, I very much enjoyed your vid :D Love "I wrapped her plastic body in
    My alabaster skin", beautiful!

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  3. I'm really glad you enjoyed it! I was so stressed about posting it so I'm feeling a lot better hearing positive things back from people. I'm already finding that this blog is helping me let go of concerns about what people think of me and my art. It's really great! Keep reading... :)

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  4. "I let my moulded girl go
    And on she sank away with so
    Much speed, yet somehow slow"

    Lovely. Truly.

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