Wednesday, April 18, 2012

My fight to write continues...

There's a very good reason this blog is called "My Fight To Write". And I've certainly been losing the fight lately.

But that's what this is about ~ the fight. Not the "success". As much as people always tell me I should only present confidence and strength as an artist, I think that this is hardly what everyone in the world experiences. We all fight towards our goals and the direction we strive for in our lives. This is reality, and this is what I'm here to present.

This digression back to my old ways has made me realise the true worth of this blog. I'm like a relapsed drug addict. I've been writing, or at least having ideas, but the demands of getting my song recordings done, released, promoted, performances and everything else that goes with that (which is ironically all a result of this blog) has seen less ideas completed and many more not brought to life before they slipped into the ether.

This is the main thing that really gets me down in life.

Not getting my ideas out.

Not expressing myself.

Watching inspired moments fly off like a kite with no string.

When I'm committed to writing regular blog posts then I feel an urgency to get the idea from my head onto the page, so it can be used in my next entry. I grab it while it's close, rather than chase after it the next day as it floats through the air, just beyond my reach.

This helps me get things completed, which is the only way they are truly useful ~ complete. I can't perform a song, then stop part way through and say to the crowd "oh, I haven't finished that one yet." That would leave everyone involved very unsatisfied, and I'd look stupid.

With all my motivational poetry and writing (and conversation) people often think I must really have it together. I tell them that it means quite the opposite. I really struggle with motivation and positive thinking, which is why I spend so much time writing/thinking about it ~ trying to get it through my own head!

So I refer you to a poem I posted on July 19th last year.

Turn, Turn, Turn

It is about what it really means to "turn over a new leaf". And this is what I'm going to do. I've been talking about it for a while. Now it must happen, for my own sanity if nothing else.

So come back and check my blog soon. If you don't see anything new then send me an e-mail at ~ myfighttowrite@gmail.com ~ and tell me "I want to see something new!"

That would inspire me like little else could!

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