Yesterday I started writing about turning off negative self talk and negativity generally. If you haven't read yesterday's post it would be best that you do before reading this, but each section could be read on its own I believe.
So as I was saying yesterday, becoming aware of your negative self talk can gradually breed a more positive feeling of happiness with yourself, which is crucial in implementing positives change in your life.
I was going on to say that I do not mean you should never feel down or upset about something you've done or that's happened. You have a right to feel unhappy or down about things from time to time. That's life. It's not a problem. It is in fact a healthy response. The problem is how you react to these feelings.
The problem with these negative feelings is that our instinctive reaction to them tends to create more negativity. A good example is that you have something annoying happen and you think "I hate it when that happens." A little while later another annoying thing happens and you think "I hate it when that happens, too. Why are so many annoying things happening to me?" You inevitably (although often unconsciously) find yourself an answer to this question, and that answer almost always involves more negativity. Particularly as you will now be looking for the next negative thing that will prove your reasoning.
You could direct the initial negative feeling into something more positive and break that cycle of instinctive negativity. For example (and my friends will understand why I use this example), if you are annoyed with yourself that you are running late then it is fair enough that you should be annoyed as it's not good to be late. This negative feeling of annoyance could be followed up with a bunch of negative self talk such as "you're such a space cadet! Why don't you pay more attention to what the time is? Why did you try to fit so much in? Everyone is going to be put out and hassle you about being late again and you'll feel embarrassed and more annoyed..." and of course as a result of all this thought the situation gets more and more negative.
The simple fact is your late and there is very little you can do about it. So don't spend the rest of your trip talking negatively to yourself. Put the energy into considering how you will better handle the situation next time so this negative situation doesn't occur again. Maybe you will need to make a more detailed plan of your day to be sure you're not planning too much? Maybe you need to allow yourself more time to get ready? Maybe you need to set your alarm right at the time you want to rise and not use the snooze button at all? Whatever the possible solution put your energy into positive thoughts about solutions, then put energy into taking action on those solutions.
There are not always solutions though. Sometimes a situation that is largely beyond your control is causing you to be down, or something that is changing but is taking a long time to change and causing subsequent frustration and sadness. So you can't change it. Or you're already doing all you can but it's simply going to take more time. In this case you should direct the negative energy towards something positive. You're feeling flat so rather than just sit down moping, focused on the subject of your concern and unhappiness, go and pick up your guitar, or your paint brushes, or whatever you have in your life that puts a smile on your face, and direct energy into that . There has to be something that puts a smile on your face. Preferably something that involves action. So if you're not into artistic things then go for a run, do some house cleaning, bake a cake, polish your car. Anything that will result in a smile at the end of it.
You will find that at the end of this that even if the problem you've got is still there you'll feel a bit happier just knowing you were productive with your energy and that you got your focus away from what was getting you down.
Turning off negativity, or directing negative feelings and energy into positive things, can be a big catalyst to change in your life and more happiness is always going to come with that. So be aware of the way you think. With awareness will come change.
People became aware that there was a growing problem with our global environment and we needed to be more conscious of our carbon emissions and general pollution. Soon enough someone designed a Prius. That may not be the perfect example but basically, once we become aware that there is something that needs changing we've made the first step to seeing that change happen.
The last step is commitment. But that will have to wait until another day. In fact I think I already wrote about that last week. How much do you want the change to happen? When people are frustrated that change is not occurring as fast as they'd like I usual say they should feel glad they're aware there is a problem that needs addressing. You may not like that you exercise a pile and lose little or no weight, but you should take the perspective of being glad that you're simply aware that you want to lose weight. If you stopped caring or were oblivious you would soon be seriously obese, probably with diabetes, extremely unhappy and most likely on your death bed years before your time.
Due to your awareness you're doing some exercise, watching what you eat, trying to be healthy generally, even if you can only manage just a little weight loss. This is so much better than being ignorant to the problem.
Be thankful for the little steps. They are a move forward, And any move forward is a good move to be making. Don't be hard on yourself for not achieving more. Just move your goals up a little when you believe you can without being unrealistic. Each little achievement will motivate you on, and before you know it big changes - positive changes - will be happening in your life.
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