Lay Down Your Steel

I’ve got problems

And you’ll never see or care

I’m nothing more than what I wear

I don’t know what’s real

I’ve got options

But they’re never what they seem to be

When lost in thoughts inside of me

My mind makes them a meal

Can’t stop watching 

Why all the coughing

Say you’re meaning 

Lies are believed 

In between the mean and

The green feelings

The obscene freedoms 

Seething deep in our breeding 

Like weed in my jeans 

A totally different scene

Then one in the wealthy 

Where it’s healthy

Even positively Christly

So don’t look at me nicely

Then move to a place where

There’s not a soul like me

I’ve got problems

You hope to never see or care

Or they’ll seep in and mess up your hair

And your feel for what’s real

You’ve got options

And they’re not free, like it’s meant to be

And it’s not your fault that you’re not me

So go and eat your meal

Find out more and you’ll feel

Then your beliefs might break out their seal

Coz to know me is to start your own peel

And let the world see what you really feel

And who you really be when you lay down your steel

If There’s a Beat

My favourite friend 

My best enemy

Forever 

If there’s a beat

My brain’s yours to bleed

Worn to the bone

Always workin it out

Obscene

If there’s a beat

You’ll fill it with shouts

Shadow beasts are about 

Staying chased is a feat

That I can’t do without

In need of the heat

Increasing the count

If there’s a beat

I must be in doubt

If there’s a beat

I must be in doubt

Insane or incensed 

Undead or un-lived

Does it matter?

If there’s a beat

I’m ready to give it

Torn by a tone 

Still workin it out

Maybe green

If there’s a beat 

I’m smokin it out 

Shadow beasts are about 

Dream flying’s a feat

I’ll keep trying out

Nineteen ninety-three

I had it worked out

If there’s a beat

I must be in doubt

If there’s a beat

I must be in doubt

If there’s a beat

I should use it to shout

If there’s a beat

I’m gettin it out 

 

So here’s the beat

Half Full Ego Cup

Now I bear my soul

Wrap it up in Fear of God,

Helmut Lang, Supreme

Shit it in a bowl

To make me scream

Then weigh the gold

Just give it all up

All your most gory,

Gawdy, bawdy stuff

And let the common feed 

Please give us what we need

And we’ll give you needless accolades

To fill your half full ego cup 

Until we find another source 

A stronger pull on our goldfish attention

Continuing convention with the fall

When you refuse to stay our course

The one that got our popularity vote

And left your letchy lovers hoarse

It’s about now you’ll know

That you never were a God

So you’ll hang, no scream

Gold plated shit in the snow

No need to feel squeamish

It’s how I wanted to go

A generations nostalgia

Will hold me over

For a little longer than most

I’ve got a haunt

Now I’m a ghost

Don’t say I never told ya

Tiny Voice

Tiny Voice 


Some 

-thing talkin on 

The electricity that I came from

A

Deep tiny voice 

Far far, far far, far far away from us

Keep going

Keep gooo-ing 

Keep goooooo-ing

Ooooooooooon

Over them all

Keep going

Keep gooo-ing 

Keep goooooo-ing

Ooooooooooon

Over them all

Until they see your God

Buzz

-zzing is the norm

For air that’s doing what I paid it for

O

Culus will bore 

Like all eventually for something more strong

Keep going

Keep gooo-ing 

Keep goooooo-ing

Ooooooooooon

Over them all

Keep going

Keep gooo-ing 

Keep goooooo-ing

Ooooooooooon

Over them all

Until they see your God

Until they see your God

Until they see you are God 

Among the rest of them

Double Down

Double Down

As my knees hit the ground

All my weight upon them

A weight always around 

Like a blanket you rely on

A gradual breaking down

A gradual decline 

No question, it’s renowned 

But they never like the shine

All you need to do is double down

Best forget direction when your proud

Others is as others does

And what they think will never come above

Point seen but who was there

Not me, and none I know

I’m telling you, I care

But I can’t trade us out by wishing

So points seen never matter

When no one can agree

I reach out but they scatter

I’m lashed for what’s not me 

And one last thing to say

Coz my freedom says it’s so

So me, I’m what you want to be

Are you willing to let go

All you need to do is double down

Best forget direction when your proud

Others is as others does

And what they think will never come above

Window Pane

When you’re a window pane

Love doesn’t look the same

Cover my brilliant shame

Held here on one thin plane

Dad

Let’s take a trip

Let’s let the world recede behind

And mostly in our minds

Not sad

Not just to bitch

To be alive and not inclined

To care an itch 

I’m fine

I’ve not declined 

I’ve not a reason to keep following

A book of men and shit

I’m dying

But it’s our time

To be another place

Where no one else exists

Coz when you’re a window pane

Love doesn’t look the same

Cover my brilliant shame

Held here on one thin plane

Insane

The sane

The same

Sad

Always a bit

It’s a place I like to go although

I don’t much care for it

Not bad

When it’s legit

And we don’t need to hide behind

The thrill of it

I’m dying

It’s not a crime

A life is what I have to give

But don’t acknowledge it

So why

Can I not fly
They always told me I was made for it

When you’re a window pane

Love doesn’t look the same

Cover my brilliant shame

Held here on one thin plane

[everybody]

When you’re a window pane

Love doesn’t look the same

Cover my brilliant shame

Held here on one thin plane

A Wake

On the day it’ll be fine

Maybe even blue skies, likely wine

Still sad, but not for me

I’ll be in the smoke that’s on the breeze

With Jeff Buckley riding waves

From the speakers of a thousand watt PA

I hope it blows everybody’s hair

Horizontal for that last exchange we share

When I can’t be killed I plan to stun

My life is done, eternal death has just begun 

Pressure to make leisure feel less fun

Indentured to a feeling I could never overcome 

  

Never lost for reasons for the rage

I think that now I’m gone we might be on the same blank page 

A wake

A little something 

Maybe baked 

A little peace (piece?)

A little cake

Missing a little life just for my little sake

I never wanted more 

Than what I knew would make me break

It takes more than little prayers

To save a soul from outta state 

Comfortable In Hell

Someone 

Else

Something 

Else

Sometimes a hand

Is not inclined to help

Nothing

Tells

Dreaming

Sells

Teeming with this

Need that won’t relent

Despise

Inside 

Play the tape

Plan it straight

Poke out your eyes

Partake

Escape

Rule the flies

Fill up the skies

Decide what’s fake

You see it all outside 

Not like you haven’t tried

But likely to reside 

In this same place 

As far as you can say

You see what mouths relay

And only if it pays

Will you make space 

Someone

Else

Something 

Else

Sometimes a hand

Is not required to help

Suffering

Smells

Dreaming

Sells

So wash a lot

Or simply don’t exert

An expert sets the bar

Before the bell

And needing is

A wanting that compels 

A fire feels like it’s heaven 

When it’s hell

The Winnings

Everything is planned

The waves will all

Ways take

The writing in the sand

Up there on the wall

It hangs, defy

Ying 

Gravity

Alone here after all 

There’s a place I want to be

But it’s lost inside of me

Behind a mirror that I hold

Counting down to when I’m old

Everyone demands 

Your blood to feed 

There needs

To be more than the “And”

Down beneath the wall

We hang, defying logical

That 

Never 

Scream before the fall

Suffocating hands

The winning of a

Simple plan 

That’s all but guaranteed 

To enjoy watching you bleed 

All through the foggy streets

Away and far from all

You want to keep

Unsmiling like you’ve seen

You’re always meant to be 

A place I want to see

When lost inside of me

Inclined to never want it sold

Knowing its worth what I can hold

A hand that keeps me right

And left me underneath a sight

That shines with yellow gold

Recovering the way I always know

One way

To leave

The winnings with the gold

Like one-hundred and nine

Teen strides I can’t define

And won’t resign myself

Away from all that’s sitting on the shelf

I could forget the beasts

And castles 

On a way

Vin to all of those that know

A life is not for sale

He Said, She Said

He said, she said

They said, we said

We don’t eat bread

At least not wheat bread

Keep it, smoke it

Feel it, stroke it

Real is feeling

No see through ceiling

He said, she said

He said, she said

He said, she said

He said, she said

He said, she said

Thee said, three said

We’ll keep reading 

Til we believe it

Kick it, beat it

Thick as three bricks

Wicked is as

Stupid speaks it

Stupid speaks it

Stupid speaks it

Stupid speaks it

Stupid speaks it

None, no, nothin, nada

Is real when he speaks 

Ignore the pesky facts and

Just keeps repeating

Speak the crap that you exact

Is what’s needed

And then you’ll see that everything is

Everything is

Everything is

Absolutely every fucking 

Thing in the world is

He said, she said

He said, she said 

He said, she said 

He’s head, she’s bled

He said, she said

He said, she said 

In bred, piss heads

Believe what we’re fed

He said, she said

P.C. upset

He can’t take it

Please fat man save it

He said, she said 

Peace when they’re dead

Eat or eaten

It keeps repeating

He said, she said

He said, she said 

He bled instead

So we can judge it

Judge, judge, judge, judge it

Beans and Genes

I'd like you to hear the dreams

Of a grown-ass man with a little bag of beans

He picked up in Vegas back in Sep

The call was made and he lost the bet

Now lying in the comfy mud

Got those repeating beans in his blood 

He wipes all the mucky brown around

Makes his big brown bed without a sound

Beans beans beans

A little bag of genes

Full of different things

Good, bad and ugly and alluring

Genes genes genes

A little bag of beans

Full of distant dreamings

Could be your day or your undoing

Somehow good, a boiling pot 

Even as he burns he says he's not 

But warm brown mud and beans

Are a good recipe for growing dreams

And he still remembers how

He hoped for a brighter, cleaner now

And with more days of sun

There's a thick vine for climbing up upon

Beans beans beans

A little bag of genes

Full of different nothings

Good, bad and ugly and assuring

Genes genes genes

A little bag of beans

Full of distant dreamings

Some quickly dead but some improving 

Operator 25

Ask for me
I'm here, see 
Your American girl 

Once from Vera Cruz 
Now here for you 
Out East, be early please 

I see the things 
You're keeping, near 
Every moment of time 

Inside, out 
All about 
No longer even try to hide 

And besides 

I know the look 
That coin you took 
You're the winning kind 

When unsure 
When grey, bored 
I'm right here behind 

2 direct 
Even for a cleptomaniac 
Who lives to rise 

5 more million people 
Turn from the steeple 
All the woolen eyes 

By decree 
Ask for me 
I'm already on the line 

Lonely nights 
Days without sight 
Here waiting for my time 

When you need 
Me and mine 
Every resource 
Couldn't be more kind 
Whether your all 
Or what you leave behind 
I'll still be here 

Operator 25